Thinking

We all had at one time in our life said we didn't want to have something, anything that could be- be it having a steady partner, be it being fat or whatsoever.


I, of course like everyone else, had said repeatedly before what I didn't want and who would have thought I will regret it. Who would have thought that is exactly what I wanted and now, I'm yearning for.

Due to some reasons with health, I'm beginning to fear what I had said without thinking previously may come true. I'm hoping that it wouldn't but no one can say with certain.

I never thought I would ever want that. A family- a cozy home, noisy kids and a responsible husband. I've always thought life without marriage and form of other responsibility would be more accommodating to what I want. But now I realise, that's not I wanted. I had been mislead with notions of career until I have been slapped in the face by reality. I hope I'm healthy enough to see through that day.

I'm sure it differs from everyone and everyone also have their own reasons. I'm just saying what you had wished against doesn't always meant that it's something that you wouldn't want to have one day. For me, what is all the money for if I don't have a companion to share my joy with. That's just a lonely person who would be remembered less by anyone but those who seek for your wealth and power.

Forced

It saddens me greatly that you refused to look at me.

Birthdays

Birthdays. Celebratory.

Precious.
I will somehow celebrate your birthday.
August 14.

I love you Precious.