Saturday, September 22, 2012

After all the anger and tears

I wailed like a child who lost her parent in a shopping mall.
I was fuming furious.

And now I lay bright awake, thinking at 6 am.

Where did I go wrong?
How come I missed all the signals?
Was I that naive?
Was I that trusting?
Was it wrong for me to trust?

All the advices and worries about me going to workforce was because you did it. You were actively doing it.
Your paranoia was because you were doing it.

And as I think back, it must have been more than 1 year. Ahh.

Love, makes you do strange things.. It makes us feel like you're on top of the world one second and then it makes us feel like we are the shittiest next.

I guess I'm always the 2nd best. I'm always burned.

But this is so damaging.. You made me not able to trust anyone new who comes into my life. Thank you very much.

The irony is, you were the one who taught me how to love and taught me to trust. But you were the same one that destroy everything. Everything.
From my dreams of a house to my dreams of naming our child to growing old with you. Nothing now. It's all burned down when I wailed out loud.

I hope Simon is still out there for you.

No comments:

Post a Comment