Eleven Minutes

"If she had looked more deeply into herself, she would have realised that what had thrilled her about the bird was his freedom, the energy of his wings in notion, not his physical body."- Paulo Coelho

I was thinking about how blissful it was and how terrible it ended. How can the love that taught me to straighten my life, succeed in school and sports, abandon bad companions.. Is the same one driving me to paranoia, back to who I was? How strange is that?

But haven't we try to cage each other, in attempt to be more "serious"? And yet, look at us. We lost what we had. 

I've tried long before you. Console myself that perhaps all relationship will turn out like this. Convince myself I should always put in more effort. Attempt to forget bad vibes, that what we had was strong, loving and could conquer it all. Always blaming myself even for your faults, that whatever you've done its because I wasn't attentive enough. Trying my very best to put you first before everything, although you always say otherwise. 

I've cried enough. Let me find my ground. I've lay there for sometime without realising how depressed I've been. 

So fly. Fly and be the ambitious one. One that has grandeur plans with his life. Do what you have always wanted to do. 

And do it for yourself.