Just when I thought I have found a reason to smile, it disappeared. Totally disappeared as if it never happened, leaving me confused. And then, I'm back to square one.
Wasn't this what I've been chasing for?
A clean slate?
I found a new friend. His name is Doubt. Doubt is my constant reminder of things. If its right or wrong, Doubt does his job too well. I would be thinking- that's the amazing thing to do! Doubt would come in- This is what you left everything you've known for?
For all I care, Doubt has been winning for some time now.
I've been "reflecting", "thinking" or whatever you called. And then I got afraid. What is the meaning of leading a life like this? What is the meaning to do things without a purpose and plans? What is the meaning of enjoyment?
Being alone forces you to face yourself. Forces you to face things you never wanted to. Seeing things in different perspective. What a torture it is. And yet, the bliss in being alone reminds you things that you have not appreciate all this while. The world seems bigger, prettier and every single gesture is now taken with more gratitude than before.
Haven't we all taken this world for granted?
Granted that our life will run its course. Granted that things will always be the same. Granted that the trust and love of somebody will always be there. Granted that our friends would always be there for us. We have all taken things for granted and blindly too.
My friend said: you're thinking too much. Kick back and relax.
So that's exactly what I'm going to do.
Kick back and relax.
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