Expectations

Let's draw things clearly: I like being a perfectionist.

So anyway, I guess I'm a lil upset realising I will never be perfect. Hah.
You could have deserved someone's better loving. I was just thinking, you could if you want to.
It's just a matter of the right opportunity rising.


I had a lil walk all alone and figured something out. I rather you tell me everything than not telling me. It's plain ego and "ouch" a lil, but I'm good at something. Blocking emotional thoughts. So, yes. I'm ok. Don't worry bout me. I bounce fast.

One of my thoughts is I should stop talking bout the big "M". It scares you off and it makes me hyper too much. It's going to be caged in my lil brain and my own pleasure imagination.

Second, "P" would not be mentioned here anymore further. It's reserved to my personal notebook and my own reading. I've said more than enough here and I'm not fearful of other's thoughts. It doesn't affect me. I know whose thoughts matter and those people are the only ones I care for.
Unless one is purely unsinned, don't judge another's sin.

And it's time to move on. The boys are waiting for my next move and I should start bossing. Time to ace something.

Time to pull myself out from the air.
To push all that insecurities I'm having with my body aside. The stretchmarks, the shrinking boobs, the unsmoothed back. You know what I want to do, I want to hide. I'm just feeling ugly. and terrible at everything else.


Urgh.